can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
