the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
