escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
