i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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