He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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