youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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