I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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