I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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