Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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