no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
