in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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