If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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