He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
