If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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