he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
