I can tuck mytits in my pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
