i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
