hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
