last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
zippers are such a cool invention
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
