I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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