I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
