Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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