we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
