The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
