I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
