My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize