My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
