You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
