You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
