Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
