When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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