You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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