saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
