Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize