Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
