Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
