I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
