You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
