Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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