So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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