the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
