Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
