do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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