happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
