at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
that may or may not have been my penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
