You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
