She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
