I got chris browned last night
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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