You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
