i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
