Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
