found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
