I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
