Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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