She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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