Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
