She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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