I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
