Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
