My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
