He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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