she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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