So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My balls are so social today.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
