This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize