and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
